Why I’m drawn towards meditation and yoga

Having a dream of combining strength, pure focus, mindfulness and yoga to cultivate this with a daily practise and spreading my knowledge and love by teaching around the globe, didn’t happen overnight.

Introduction to yoga

I was first introduced to yoga when my mother became terminally ill.
These yoga sessions were of great value to me. While in savasana, at the end of a lesson, the tears would roll down. I felt present in the moment, centered and in touch with my feelings and my being in this world. These moments were very rare during this period and helped me to some extend to cope with the situation.

Introduction to pure focus

Since starting crossfit in the spring of 2015 I noticed the amount of focus that I need for the workouts. Without focus my workout would likely suck. You may think this focus is necessary in any sport. But for me, I never really received the feedback so direct and clearly from my mental state during a crossfit workout than with any other sport I did (boxing and athletics).
If I come to a training with a lot on my mind and I’m not able to shake it off during the warm up or any time before that. And I give my thoughts room to stay along while training, my technique is shit, my self talk is horrible and the weights are not even near of what I’m capable of.

A big part of crossfit is working with a barbell. I quickly fell in love with this weightlifting part of crossfit. *Attending every olympic weightlifting class*. Your mental state, focus, mindfulness and self talk is well represented by the feedback the bar gives you. Whatever you put into your lift, you will receive it right back during the lift.

Love the process

Since living in Bangkok my focus shifted from crossfit to powerlifting (I did two months of novice linear progression a model by Starting Strength)  to build strength for my olympic lifts. To now training weightlifting. I experienced that not only the direct feedback is hard to deal with sometimes. But even more the process of the progress is a hard path with a lot of setbacks and weeks with (in my opinion) no progression at all (here is the ‘loving’ self talk again). This also applies for my yoga and meditation practises. 

The process part of things have never been my favorite.
Just writing this down, makes me so aware of what I’m actually telling myself.
How weird is that; ‘I don’t like the process part’?

Life is all about the journey and here I am saying I would rather start at the finish line. No fun in that actually.

You’ve got to work for it, put in hours and hours of practise or more so cultivating it in your daily life. Only then you’ll be able to become a master. The question is to what extent are you willing to do that? Will you give it time, will you overcome the setbacks, will you be able to keep a positive mind and loving selftalk?

Cultivating and practising/training is something I do every day for the passions I have. I set my intention on my dream and I’m willing to recieve all that is given to my during this process, with an open mind and heart. AND I’m willing to work for it. What this actual work looks like differs. But mostly it’s the doing that gives me the best feedback and that’s how I learn. Doing makes me feel productive, in touch/engaged with my passions and my dream and most of all fulfilled and happy.

The outcome

Putting in the hours is not always fun. Maybe that’s why I was telling myself I don’t like to process.
80% of the work you put in does not directly reflect your dream.

BUT it’s this 20% of the process that makes it all worth it. 

It’s the way I feel after a hard weightlifting training.
*Proud of myself for making it*

It’s the darkness that comes to light after a meditation sesh in the morning
*I’m daring to open the curtains to let light come in to sprout my seeds for beautiful flowers*
The calmness in my body after my morning yoga routine
*I didn’t feel like doing yogathis morning, but I did it anyway and now I feel amazing*

I figured this mental state of focus being present is what makes me truly happy and fulfilled. Tht is what I want to spread into the world. Help other people with their process. Making this world a more loving-kindness place.


My first experience applying for a yoga studio

As I entered the studio in my normal day to day wear, i was welcomed by one of the yoga teachers. I recognized him from the videoclips on the website. In my best spanish I said that I was a little early and he replied that everybody will be coming soon.

What yoga is for me

I honestly still don’t know and I’m still in the process of finding the answers. Maybe there is not one answer, or any, but I know I want to listen better to this voice and feel more of this feeling that I feel in my gut that I’m not sure of what it is.